Friday, April 26, 2013

Reframing Friendship (a five minute friday)

My Five Minute Friday on: Friend

The thought occurs to skip this one. Because I'm not quite sure of anything right now.

After 37 years I'm just now realizing I don't know what "friend" means. I know what I want it to mean. But my definition is based on my longings, not what is appropriate to expect.

So what is a friend?

I want to reframe it — so that my junk doesn't get in the way. Because I have some pretty strong and steady friends who seem ready to stand by me no matter what I bring to the table.

I've been writing about my perfectionism. And about depending too much on people and not enough on Him.

There is a part of me that thinks I have to be everything to everyone. And that if I can't offer anything then people aren't going to want to be my friend.

As far back as I can remember, when I walked high school tile floors and wore fluffy bangs and docksiders and rolled the ankles of my jeans. And I so desperately wanted to fit in. Such a game we play, trying to figure out what we can do to make other people like us.

I see now how futile that was — how futile that is.

So I guess a friend likes you because you are you. And like God, a friend stays because they care and because they see your value, even when you don't. A friend sticks by when you walk through a valley and is patient with you when you think you need space. And a friend gives you grace when your humanness causes unintentional pain.

And that's all that makes sense to me right now.


Linking today with Lisa-Jo…
Five Minute Friday

11 comments:

Leah Marie, Unpuncturated said...

I think what makes sense to you makes a lot of sense to me. Especially the part about giving grace when humanness requires it. I think I not alone needs friends capable of that, but I really want to strive at being better at providing it.

BARBIE said...

Such a beautiful post and so very true. I've been hurt in relationships, but yet I've grown and am learning more and more how to be a friend, and also accept people for who they are. Stopped over from the Five Minute Friday. Blessings!

Christy said...

Leah: Me, too! Thanks for stopping by and leaving encouragement!

Barbie: Sometimes the growing pains really hurt, don't they? I'm suffering now, but I know I'll be better for them. Thanks for sharing!

WesAnna said...

Sometimes our journey brings a person just for that season and we can't always find the reason.

Amy Pletscher said...

With you friend through the valleys through the mountians through the yuk!!! God is working through us all making us stronger and wiser. He meets us at the place we are at and walks with us. Rest in his love for you. Love you and looking forward to walking through this journey of life with you. Wonderful memories seeing this photo. :o)

Christy said...

WesAnna: I believe that to be true, also. But it's hard to let go sometimes.

Christy said...

Miss Amy: I am thankful you are a stick with me kind of friend! Thank you for walking with me here in the yuckies!

Anastacia Maness said...

I love how you show your heart in this post, Christy. A true friend will be there with you through the hard times. I'm glad to have met you today.

Kim said...

I admire the strength and courage I see in you, as you travel through the valley. Love you no matter what, Sister-friend.

Mia De Vries said...

Dear Christy
We all go trough seasons of life and I think we have all tried to some extent to be what we believed we should be to make others like and love us. As long as we move on, it s a valuable lesson when we finally learn that we can only just be ourselves!
Blessings

Denise said...

Very nice post.

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