It's an uncomfortable process, persuading the blood to rush out to my fingertips again. In order to go from numbness to feeling there is pain.
Sometimes that prickly pins and needles feeling makes me wonder if leaving it deadened might be better. But I know it has to go through this process of reawakening.
When given a choice, in life, wouldn't most of us pick the path with the least suffering? As if it was actually up to us.
I don't like to suffer. Pain feels bad. It makes me feel uneasy, out of control, and irritable.
What if I told you that, "pain is the price of healing" (Vironika Tugaleva, The Love Mindset)?
It doesn't surprise me, then, that people would avoid healing because of it. That people would rather medicate or numb themselves then feel pain.
Numbing denial played a huge part in why it took so long to start my process of healing. The memories were too much (or at least I thought they were). I felt very alone and ill equipped to handle their onslaught. So I pushed them away until they lurked at the edges of my reality. They teased me there, but they never stayed away for long.
So if healing hurts, why do it?
“Pain is a pesky part of being human. I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped.
But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”
~ C. JoyBell C.
At some point the "stab wound to the heart" got too difficult to bear. I started to hemorrhage and it seeped out into my life, into my relationships. I wasn't alright and I couldn't hide it anymore.
The price of healing may be pain, but it's temporary to the sweet relief, peace, and freedom God can do in a surrendered life.
There is hope for healing in each one of our lives. It will look different, feel different, and have a different time table, but if you trust Him with that pain, He will be faithful to heal and redeem it.
And by God's grace may we all feel the wind against our faces.
This is Day 2 in my 31 days of Healing in Him series. You can find all the posts in this series here, updated each day in October. Category: Inspirational & Faith #write31Days