Heart breaking. Tears flowing. I hope I don't have to get used to this. I'm crying because I held it in. I'm crying because I'm proud of him. I'm crying because I wish it didn't have to be this hard. I believe "this too shall pass", but it's hard right now. I did the right thing. I did all I could do. But he still had to go and I had to make him. The very thing we resist may be exactly what we need to do. I believe that. Caleb is still struggling with the making new friends part of school. We're still in a transition, so I know time will help. But we're not there yet. We're not a month into school when he will be happy, content, and surrounded by friends. We're here, on our third week, and it's still hard.
Last night's lesson: God does not say that we will not have to endure hard things. He says that when hard things come that He will be with us and help us through them. I believe it's doing the hard thing that turns out being the best thing. You look back at where you have been and see that even though it was hard you did it anyway. That's life, isn't it? Doing the hard things?
Last night's lesson Part2: God made you this way. There is nothing wrong with you because you have a harder time making new friends. Making new friends is hard for most people. In fact, God will use your cautious, observant nature for your good. Maybe you don't have hundreds of friends, but maybe the friends you do make will be really special because you know how hard it was to make them.
Mommy's lesson: Being a Mom is going to break your heart sometimes. But it's also going to be a great blessing. Dear God, help me to know what to say. Give me wisdom to know when to push and when to let him process. Give me patience and acceptance of who he is because he is special and unique and You have a great plan for him. Help him meet a special friend. Lead the right child to reach out to him and ask him to play. And help me to remember that you do love him more than my own capacity to love him and I can have confidence that You are there helping to figure all of this out.
I pray this prayer with you.
So an update...3 weeks into the school year and Caleb is finally adjusting and enjoying his new school. Thank you all who were praying for him (and me)!
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