It's been too long, I know. I hope I've been missed. My absence has not been on purpose. The Lord has been occupying my time with other worthwhile causes (I will share more when I have something to show you).
I sit down to write and all I can think of is how thankful I am. Obviously thankful for all of the normal stuff; a loving husband, healthy happy kids, Adam's job, a roof (literally) over our heads. If I was to summarize what God has been teaching me over the last several months I would say His faithfulness. Financial woes, a leaking roof, and a bump in the marriage road and I am often left trying to figure out how to fix it or worse, feeling like there is no hope. Deep down I know there is always Hope. But I spend too much of my life (as a planner) looking ahead and using that as fodder for worrying. How am I going to pay that bill? Will we ever have enough money to fix our roof? get new windows? give the kids their own rooms? The mental list can go on and on. A planner is always looking ahead and I think that is a good trait. But sometimes, the planning can get in the way of plain old trusting. A planner looks at what's going to happen and tries to figure out how to handle it. Again, not a bad thing. But if God is the ultimate planner, how much of my own planning gets in the way of God's plan? If I am always trying to figure out how to fix it or make this or that work out, am I focusing too much on my own efforts?
Certainly there is a give and take. Our relationship with God should involve discussing the plan with Him. Asking Him for guidance. Depending on Him knowing, accepting, surrendering that I cannot do it all myself. The Lord continues to blow me away. His faithful provision, just when we need it the most, leaves me in awe. He is faithful when I make the choice to not worry (even though it's difficult) and choose to trust Him to take care of me.
The one thing God keeps bringing me back to is today. Today I can pay this bill. Today I can put food on the table. Today our cars are both running. Today...
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34).
Thank you God for your faithfulness. Thank you for reminding me that I don't have to do this all on my own. Thank you for what you have provided today and the peace of knowing it is enough.