Lost. Confused. Alone. Curled up in a ball, crying on my bed. I had received some pretty heavy, shocking news. It rocked me to my core. I thought things were going pretty well and the rug was pulled right out from under me. Didn't know who to turn to. Didn't even know who I was or what we were anymore.
This is where God found me. For a couple of years we had been attending a non-denominational church about 10 miles from home. We had been looking for 4 years and God led us to "Faith". Unknowingly, he was preparing us; setting us up for this crisis. Church is not the building, it's the people. That became very evident when we came to Faith Church. These people were going to help us, love us when the tidal wave hit.
What actually happened doesn't really matter. Suffice it to say it was heavy and there were times I didn't know if we were going to make it, if I was going to make it. But this had to happen. The gauntlet had to fall. We had to become desperate and all alone so we could see HIM! I guess we had a choice. We didn't have to reach out, CRY out to Him, but then I think I would have died. "The Spirit helps us in our weakness" (ROMANS 8:26). Whether we knew it then or not, God was working. He wants our hearts. He wants us to choose Him. But sometimes we are so stubborn or blind to realize that. In our brokenness, He helped us. But we had to look up, we had to turn to Him, and accept His help. And we needed to KNOW the TRUTH about GOD. "I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (JOSHUA 1:5). God is good. He wants what is best for us. He wants us to turn away from our sinful ways. He wants us to SEE our sinfulness. "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (ROMANS 6:23). My husband was on a path of sin leading to death. If it wasn't for the miraculous power of God working in his life, don't know where he might be. This is our story. It overwhelms me. Why God would choose to save us when countless others are still out there struggling? Not to say we don't still struggle. If it's not one thing, it's another. And when you surrender your life to God, he doesn't promise that things will be happy and wonderful for the rest of your days. But he does say that when trouble comes, He will help you.
"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it" (1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 The Message).You may not believe. You may not know who God is. He may be working in your life and you can't see it. You may be struggling, hurting, feeling alone. I pray that you will see that God offers hope, help, and faithful, unconditional love. I pray that in the worst of times you will feel God's presence. I pray that you may experience His peace and comfort in the times that you need it the most.
Our story isn't finished. We still have bumps and bruises and scars. Some days I'm doggy-paddling for my life, just trying to keep my head above water. Sometimes my issues get in my way. But better is one day with God, the Father, then a thousand days trying to do it on my own.
How lovely is Your dwelling place, Oh Lord Almighty,
For my soul longs and even faints for You.
Oh, here my heart is satisfied within Your presence.
I sing beneath the shadow of Your wings.
Better is one day in Your courts;
Better is one day in Your house;
Better is one day in Your courts;
Than thousands elsewhere.
(excerpt from the song BETTER IS ONE DAY)