Sometimes it's dreadful to be alone. Perhaps I'm exaggerating a tad, but what is it about being alone that's so...lonely? I used to spend quiet, reflective time alone as I was growing up. I remember fondly walking and exploring the arboretum, long drives in the car with good music and time to think, the quiet stillness of hearing my own thoughts and pondering my life. But a lot of those times were before Adam came into my life. It's like solitude gives way to relationship, companionship. It makes sense. It's the way God made us.
Here I am today, married these 11 1/2 years with two busy and sometimes LOUD children and I'm no longer an expert at "alone".
It's on my mind because Adam just returned from a retreat. Only two sleeps without him and we were fine. But it was lonely here without him. I suppose it's a good sign. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes we refer to these rare occasions as "appreciation weekends". Alas, there is something soothing about having your man by your side and the children snuggly tucked into their beds.
But at the same time I realize the importance of space and quiet "me" time. Even if it just reminds me how happy I am to have Adam - all that he is, all that he brings to our family.
And I'm happy to share him - as long as they give him back. It's the temporariness of his absence that makes it bearable and -- dare I say it -- enjoyable at times (watching a cheesy chick-flick because I can). Because I know he'll be back (atleast that's the plan) and I hope it takes me awhile to forget how much I appreciate the blessing of him. Because this is what love's all about.