I am a wall builder.
Overlapping brick by brick or stone by stone, the walls are built. An expert stone mason by now, I don't always know I'm building them anymore.
I've always seen trust as a wall — easily knocked down and slow to rebuild.
There is a wall we build around our hearts. We put it there to protect us from harm, but —
Does it keep the world out?
Or does it trap us inside?
Like the secluded tower that held Rapunzel captive, impenetrable and built with stones of fear and doubt. The tower walls so high the encouragements and affirmations of others, even God, often cannot infiltrate. Surrounded, instead, by the nagging echoes of negative self-talk and the indelibly hurtful words of others.
I don't want to live this way — walled in, surrounded. I want to experience life free from the comfort of walls. And this freedom can only be enjoyed if I trust fully in Him.
I read a post the other day about "a simple truth that can transform any relationship." In it, Lara Williams reminds us that we cannot trust people because they will fail us. That even Jesus did not trust man because He knew what our hearts are like. And at first I felt like if this is true, it's no wonder we wall ourselves up.
But then this:
"Trust" absolutely makes relationships much more intimate. And is an important aspect of deep fellowship with others. But "entrusting" ourselves to others — depending on them for our life and hope and peace — is what leaves us on shaky ground. I think Jesus' example shows us that we need to depend ultimately on the Father for our peace and life. Because people will fail. We will fail. Releasing others from the pressure of being our source of life, frees us and them.
Lara Williams, To OverflowingIs it in this process of releasing others from our "idol dependence" that the walls begin to fall? Like the mighty trumpet blasts that made Jericho walls come tumbling down?
I don't know yet because I'm in the process. But the promise of freedom that comes from depending entirely on the Source of Life itself sounds sweet.
But, instead of getting out my own sledge hammer and taking a big swing at my self-made walls, I am going to patiently wait as God, in His time, effortlessly removes each brick.
And perhaps I'll find the Truth and myself in the rubble.
Linking today with the Soli Deo Gloria Party at Finding Heaven.