Thursday, August 29, 2013

Summer's Bittersweet End

I hear the rain pitter-pattering against the awning above the kitchen door. The calendar reads August, but the boxes are nearly all X'd off. September is anxiously waiting in the wings to usher summer out, like the changing of the guard. The kids' backpacks are filled with supplies and our spirits are overcome with this bittersweet dance.

Summer was fun and full, restful and reflective. I hate for it to end, but it's time.

Time for schedules, homework, and activities. Time for carpooling and alarm clocks and school lunches.

I have one ready to go — excited to start and meet new friends. And I have one tentative — wishing summer would never end.

Summer is where I dust off my 24/7 Momma hat and resume my role as full-time caretaker, referee, maid, and "fearless" leader. Summer becomes about my kids — keeping them busy and entertained without their minds going to mush (thanks to the never-ending supply of library books).

I sift through the bittersweet, where "I'm ready, but I'm not" collide. I revisit summer in my mind. Amidst the sand and the sea breezes and the quiet home days and the adventures with friends I also found…me. And I don't care if it sounds cliche'.

I started reading about boundaries and how I don't set them. And I had to learn why. I read about how setting limits can actually be quite freeing, which seemed like a contradiction to me. But freedom tastes like the confidence to say no. It smells like the sweet scent of being responsible to and not for others (Boundaries, Cloud & Townsend).

With each fence, freedom. Learning to release the things I am not meant to hold onto.

A summer of releasing.

And I suppose it all culminates in back to school. Letting go…again. Trusting their love banks are filled up enough to stand firm, with courage, to make good choices, to be kind, and face the fears and uncertainties of another school year.

The bittersweet surfaces again. But the change is coming whether I like it or not and I'm excited for what's ahead.

Sweet release.

Joining the Soli Deo Gloria link party.


Kelly said...

Praying for you as you transition into your school year role. :)

Unknown said...

I love this: "But freedom tastes like the confidence to say no."

I think I love it so much because it means my activities and "doing" is not what defines me. I need no worth outside of what Jesus brings me.

Unknown said...

Thanks for your prayers, Kelly!

I appreciate you, Jen! Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement!


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