My Five Minute Friday on: True
For most of my life I've held it in. Kept it close. Guarded and fiercely protected. Like somehow I knew if I let people see it, hear it, they wouldn't like it. And that mattered back then. What am I saying? It matters even now, although I wish it didn't.
So unsure of myself and memories that haunted. I didn't know how to share those parts of me. So they laid there, just under the surface, peeking out every now and then, hoping no one saw them. Or maybe hoping someone would?
It wasn't until my husband and I were hanging on by a thread with each other that things started to really change. That thread being held by the One would would sew us back together. And I began to see who I was, or perhaps who I was really meant to be.
With abandon I embraced authenticity. Once I started being vulnerable with people it was like I couldn't keep things in anymore. I lived this way for years, sharing and sharing and sharing in the name of being real with people. And it was hard, but it also felt good.
Then, my mother-in-law died of cancer and a close friendship started to fall apart. It was in this painful place that I began to see some things differently. It was like I woke up from a fairytale dream and I suddenly felt very exposed.
I had no filter. In the name of "being real" I shared a lot of me. But I didn't have a line, a stopping place. People got all of me or else it felt like I wasn't being honest. And I realized this wasn't healthy for me or my marriage or my relationships.
There's so much more to say about this, but I ran out of my five minutes. To be continued…
Linking today with Lisa-Jo…