"The right thing to do and the hard thing to do are usually the same."
~Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
One of the hardest things for me to say is "sorry."
I don't know exactly why that is (and it's a little embarrassing to admit). I used to brush it off as just being stubborn. But I know better.
I see the struggle in my kids. The blaming and the finger pointing that has been a part of them since birth, this "Adam and Eve" tattle-tailing.
I can't see it in them without seeing it in me.
But it's not too late. So we are intentionally trying to change our thinking — from "you're to blame" to "I am responsible."
It's powerful, in a painful sort of way. Because there's shame in sorry. That's why it's easier to find comfort in explaining how the other person wronged us.
We have become so consumed with listing all the ways the other person has wronged us that we do not see our own part in it. We are like lawyers defending our case by proving someone else's guilt. It makes the other person feel like crap while we use it to convince ourselves we're better than them.
I'm done with it.
In order to be truly sorry I have to be willing to see what I have done wrong. I must see and accept my part in the issue and accept some of the blame.
When my kids have had a squabble one of them usually comes running to me — brother did this, sister did that. I've started stopping them in their tracks. Because the only thing I really want to hear is what they did, what are they responsible for? Typically, there is a lot of hemming and hawing.
When we remove the focus of blame from the other person, we can't help but see our own part. But then we have to be brave enough to admit it. And that can be really hard (ahem, pride).
I believe part of intentional living is taking responsibility for our own actions. Being willing to hold up a mirror and take an honest look. This is what God calls us to do (by confession & repentance) and it's necessary for healthy relationships.
"It is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one's acts."
This is a post in a series called, 31 days of Intentional Living. You can find all the posts in this series here, updated each day in October. Category: Inspirational & Faith
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