I stood at the top of the wooden platform, secured to a rope with a black carabiner and a harness. The rope strung between me and a pulley, then wrapped several times around a tree.
25 feet up and very afraid I stood frozen in my sneakers.
Did they honestly want me to just jump? No net, no proof the rope would catch, no guarantee (except for the success of those who jumped before me).
There is always this moment for me, when I'm standing on the edge — of doing something hard, taking a chance. It's where fear and risk meet and fight it out.
I have to decide — either I'm doing it or I'm not. Then this feeling takes over right before I decide to jump, when my mind finally convinces the muscles in my legs to bend and leap and I know there is no turning back. The world turns a little gray and hazy and I hear nothing but the sound of my own breath.
In the presence of fear I jump, strangely focused and willing to let the conclusion be what it may.
The moment of letting go.
I climbed up to the platform with fear and trembling, but my friend stood, feet firmly planted on the ground. She was not interested in participating in that particular adventure that day. In fact, she thought I was nuts (really, so did I).
But whether you're on a platform high in the air or standing on solid ground, we all have to figure out how to jump.
Fear and risk might sound like opposites, but I believe there is not a risk taken that is without some measure of fear. I couldn't jump without letting go — surrendering, not to the fear, but to all that keeps me from jumping.
Intentional living means learning how to jump by choosing to let go. And it's an intentional, conscious choice.
I'm guilty of trying to fix and figure my way out of uncomfortable situations. And I'm equally guilty of trying to take the safe and comfortable route in order to avoid having to jump at all.
But I'm learning — to climb up to the platform, to put my toes to the edge, and jump. To take risks, to face uncertainty, and to trust the Rope.
What keeps you from jumping?
This is the ninth post in a series, called 31 days of Intentional Living. You can find all the posts in this series here, updated each day in October. Category: Inspirational & Faith
Joining the Soli Deo Gloria link party.