I feel like a kid strapped in the back seat of a minivan on a long car ride, nagging her father, impatient to arrive.
I'm not sure of much. Not sure what the destination looks like. Will I even know when I get there?
My restlessness affirms my longing.
I search in vain for my justice, my redemption, my peace and comfort. They do not come from me, I know, but sometimes I forget.
"I'm continually reminded that it is not in my own strength that I can stand under the weight of the struggles of this life. While beauty and growth unfold, so also does hardship and suffering ensnare the heart, and tempt it to doubt and grapple with bootstrap faith that says, "I can do this, I can handle this". But the truth is that I can only move forward because God bears me up. He carries us not only when life beats us down, but even in seasons of prosperity, in which we can also be tempted to say, "I did this, I got this". Whether we are in a season of struggle or a season of wild success, it is always and only God who bears us up. He is our deliverance, he is our strength."
I don't get my answer — "how long" is not mine to know. But He gives me “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen,” instead (Hebrews 11:1).
I know justice will come and wholeness. That He is not done with me yet.
Such a beautiful mystery, to be part of the story He has written. To walk in the mystery is to trust. And when the impatience of waiting rises again in me I know there is grace.
I will go home one day and He will smile at me and say, "It's been long enough."
This is a post from my 31 days of Healing in Him series. You can find all the posts in this series here, updated each day in October. Category: Inspirational & Faith #write31Days
Today's words was: Long